My nipple is on Facebook.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
porn star boner night. come get it.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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