Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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