he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
