I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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