Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
