thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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