just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
