If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
