saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
You pole danced in your parka.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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