I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I'm lost and stupid without you.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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