You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
