Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
