I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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