Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
