Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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