Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
