Sry I called you an 8
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
