Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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