D3 body, D1 cock
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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