There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i barfeds in our rink
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
