david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
