You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Randomize
