Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
