even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
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