its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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