I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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