I want to walk on stilts...naked
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
