Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
