He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
you never un-have a 4some
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
