i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
