chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
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