I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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