I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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