you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
