You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
