Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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