Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
