whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
