We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
