goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
