so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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