see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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