I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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