We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
