i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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