the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
too bad you live with your parents still
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Randomize
