i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
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