Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
