I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
