he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
